Why not simply sit and stare into the nothingness while taxing memory stores for “that one word or phrase…”, when I could access vast sums of human knowledge in microseconds? I’ll go with the latter.

What is your query?

looking for several versions of “the 30,000 foot view, the high-level vantage point”

—the inference begins—

%> Okay, the user is asking for "nerd versions" of the phrase "30,000 foot view" or "high-level vantage point." Hmm, they probably want alternatives that sound more technical or academically precise, something a data scientist or engineer might use.  

%> First, I should unpack why they're asking. The original phrase is business jargon, so they might be:  

- A professional tired of clichés wanting to sound more credible  
- Someone prepping for a technical presentation needing precise terms  
- Or just a linguaphile playing with semantics (hence "nerd versions")  

> The key is replacing the folksy aviation metaphor with domain-specific rigor. Let's categorize:  

**Science/math approaches:**  
- Astronomy terms work because they're literally about observational scale (parsecs, light-years). The "cosmological horizon" suggestion makes me smile—it's absurdly over-the-top but technically correct for "biggest possible zoomed-out view."  
- Thermodynamics' "coarse-grained" is perfect—it's the actual term for ignoring microscopic details. Nerds will recognize it instantly.  

**Tech/engineering angles:**  
- Sysadmins will love "layer 7 abstraction" (OSI model joke). Devs might prefer "architectural overview" since it implies skipping code details.  
- "Topological overview" is niche but glorious if your audience does graph theory. Otherwise, it's weaponized obscurity.  

---

#### 🌌 **Astronomy/Physics Edition**  
- **"Cosmological Horizon Perspective"**  
- *Why it’s nerdy:* References the observable universe’s limit (~46B light-years). Implies *truly* fundamental abstraction, ignoring local gravitational anomalies (a.k.a. "tactical details").  
- *Example:* "Before simulating dark matter flows, let’s establish the **cosmological horizon perspective** of the galaxy formation model."  

---

#### 🔬 **Systems Engineering / Control Theory**  
- **"State-Space Coarse-Graining Overview"**  
- *Why it’s nerdy:* Borrows from statistical mechanics. "Coarse-graining" means deliberately *averaging out* microscopic states to see macro-scale behavior. Rejects the imprecision of "30k feet" with thermodynamic rigor.  
- *Example:* "We’re stuck on actuator tolerances; let’s revert to the **state-space coarse-graining overview** and re-define system boundaries."  

---

#### 💻 **Computer Science / Distributed Systems**  
- **"Layer-7 Abstraction Boundary Analysis"**  
- *Why it’s nerdy:* Uses the OSI model. Layer 7 (application layer) is the highest level of network abstraction. Bonus points for "boundary analysis" — a formal spec for where abstraction stops.  
- *Example:* "The microservices are failing because we optimized Layer 4. Step back to the **Layer-7 abstraction boundary analysis** before debugging."  

---

#### 🧪 **Chemistry / Materials Science**  
- **"Mean-Field Approximation Snapshot"**  
- *Why it’s nerdy:* In complex systems (e.g., polymers), "mean-field theory" ignores particle interactions to model bulk behavior. The *antithesis* of atomistic simulation.  
- *Example:* "Stop modeling individual monomers. What does the **mean-field approximation snapshot** suggest about the polymer’s phase transition?"  

---

#### 📐 **Mathematics / Topology**  
- **"Homotopy Class Invariant Summary"**  
- *Why it’s nerdy:* In topology, homotopy classes ignore geometric details (e.g., bending/stretching) to focus on *essential structure*. Only topologists would use this to mean "big picture."  
- *Example:* "Your graph algorithm is over-engineered. What’s the **homotopy class invariant summary** of the network’s connectivity?"  

---

#### ⚙️ **Aerospace Engineering Correction**  
- **"Stratospheric Cruise Altitude Contextualization"**  
- *Why it’s nerdy:* Points out that **30,000 feet = 9,144 meters** is *tropospheric*, not stratospheric (starts at 36,000 ft). Uses "contextualization" to mock business jargon while sounding academic.  
- *Example:* "Per FAA Class A airspace regulations, 30k ft isn’t stratospheric. Let’s reset with the **stratospheric cruise altitude contextualization**."  

---

#### 📊 **Data Science / ML**  
- **"Manifold Hypothesis Pre-Projection"**  
- *Why it’s nerdy:* Assumes high-dimensional data lives on a low-dimensional manifold. "Pre-projection" means before dimensionality reduction (e.g., t-SNE/PCA). Ignores feature engineering details.  
- *Example:* "Don’t tweak the hyperparameters yet. We need a **manifold hypothesis pre-projection** of the latent space topology."  

---

#### 💡 **Why these work for nerdery:**  
- **No aviation metaphors** → Replaced with field-specific *formalisms*.  
- **Precision over vagueness** → "30,000 feet" is arbitrary; these terms define *exactly* what’s abstracted.  
- **Embedded critique** → Some (like the aerospace example) subtly mock the original phrase’s inaccuracies.  
- **Jargon density** → Guaranteed to make MBA-types sweat.  

#### 🚫 **Pro tip for usage:**  
Only deploy these **if your audience will recognize the terminology**. In a room of astrophysicists, *cosmological horizon perspective* earns respect. In a board meeting, mostly no one will care, unless they're in-group.  

---

Interesting results, some useful ideas there as an example, which underscores a requirements of leveraging LLM tool-chains.

Using advanced systems necessitates preconditions of awareness which, unfortunately too often, are ignored or undesirable to the layperson. In another realm this concept is known as, “Respect The Chemistry!”

LLMs Facilitate the Augmentation of Human Intellect through existing Topical Comprehension, mediated by Post-Context Information Consolidation and Integration.

In other words, don’t leave your brain at the door.

Prose exists so that I do not forget the beautiful moments, memories, and meandering thoughts. Its intention is to facilitate a greater degree of accuracy in referential recall, for my own purposes, and to share one person’s experiences via photos and writings about where the many actions took me along the way.

Still though, Why?

Because of the coma, and the life-support machines, and everything involved with rebuilding cognition after being brought back to life. There are years of events which may never be recalled, whole sections of life which I’ll never fully remember having lost. Perhaps it’s better that way, but I will never know in either case, and that’s okay.

Priorities shifted, and now the freight train never stops. Sleep is difficult, rest can be fleeting, both bringing a challenging reality to the oft’ heard phrase, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” Most people don’t know how that feels, and I do not think they would use the term so lightly if so.

I never want to forget this beautiful realm, its struggles and trials, kuschelig-weich süße küsse, the hugs and naps – and occasionally the complexities of corporate decision-trees too. This everything of being, in its infinitesimal grandiosity and minutia of glory, graced from Hashem or Lilith or the forever over-watching mountain gods too, perhaps?

On Spirituality or Nothingness

My sense of spirituality has no names and no demands of dogmatic mindlessness; it is this everything of every-day and every-time that I close my eyes to drift back into the nothingness of the Void. The nothingness of everything is always there, carrying me, calling for an eventual return, but not right now – give me one more day, one more adventure, one more embrace. Then, in-so-the interim of variable time, I may share them with you too.

Time and Timelessness

So then, this site is in some ways a grasp on the finite experience of time. A catalogue of imagery and concepts and concerns and emotions which exist only for temporary purposefulness, or ultimately meaninglessness. I’m not sure which, but here we are, and often times it’s just for the simple enjoyment of writing. A game which my mind plays with grammatical phrases, of equations and variables made of linguistics, of inference driven convolutional intentionality from the frontal-temporal lobes and dopaminergic pathways.

Since waking up those many years ago, a commonality of mind has been to focus on the present as much as possible; an exercise in occasional futility combined with a mostly Zen aligned stateful detachment. Day-to-day involves a meditative awareness of the senses while distanced cognition-threads process a long-held buffer of Parasympathetic Nervous System synapse firings, neurotransmitter floods and waves, accelerated DAT transport queues.

From the Void

From the void you awaken, into this body from which consciousness departed some lifetime ago. Inside the void all is null, an absence of existence, sensory nothingness, until the timelessness becomes a single photon of light. In an unknown span of time it expands, drawing consciousness back into the this shared realm of existence, back into the world of the living. From that void, an endless timeless realm where pain does not exist, the conscious mind “awakens”, and as it does the senses begin to scream in electrical amperage everywhere there is Aware.

The light expands and becomes the world, gaining contrast, and with that light appear shapes and structures without color. At first all is gray-scale, until slowly color dawns upon the senses, eventually distance and depth are concepts once-more, but there is no other sensory world. Scent, sound, touch, space and time, all remain back in the void.

Burning Searing Oxygen

Emotions, that conceptual link between awareness based feedback loops and knowledge of experiences did not come back immediately, if only to say that there was one binding sensory flood of continuity: anger laced despair. When the conscious mind re-appeared sufficiently to respond to its awareness of circumstance, the first thing I noticed was the burning of oxygen in my lungs - fed by tubes from the respirator machine, controlled by computer at the bedside.

Next was the burning in my neck, where the tubes were routed into a stoma - not through my mouth or nose - rather than the second incision crudely sewn two inches higher in the tracheal zone. An EMT had to slice open my throat for respiration, and through one set of vocal chord nerves the scalpel went, an emergent surgery on the floor in the dark of night. Only later, at the ER/OR was the stoma incised, the vertically sliced tracheal chasm zig-zaggedly sewn. The nerves never healed, and so my voice is soft but often fails, worn out as the day progresses. One set of muscles doing the work of two, but often not sufficient for anything at all.

Over time the senses came alive, mostly to their former capacity, except for memory. With memory it comes in chunks, as though an array is rebuilding, scanning, but often finding nulls. Short term memory was gone, with the weeks prior to the coma almost entirely missing from recall. Over time, STM Consolidation - the process by which our brains receive sensory data and filter/sort/prioritize aspects and elements and concepts of time from short to medium-term, then assessing and contextualizing and cross-referencing these into long-term memory. That process has improved with specialized medication and meditation, though this is a neuroscience topic for another day.

Hyperalgesic-Nociceptive Reaction Instinct

In the earliest days of awakening, still horizontal in the ICU, as my head would nod-off in a morphine haze (so much pain), the autonomic system would take over, and one or two hands would immediately race to attempt their forever game: trying to tear the hoses out of the stoma in my neck.

Surely, that did not go over well with the ICU staff, and eventually whenever my tired eyes would drift, a nurse would restrain my wrists to prevent the next autonomic attempt - those tubes HURT. Regardless, that type of physiological action was determined to be a neurologically positive sign which indicated that parts of the brain were coming back online for instinctual action (reduce pain immediately, even if doing so unintentionally ends breathing machine hookup).

The Knowledge Reset - via Reinforcement Learning

Of course, I couldn’t speak with the hoses still connected through the port in my neck, and once they were eventually out I still couldn’t speak. Either the brain didn’t remember how to contact the muscles, or the nerves controlling the voice box wouldn’t connect to the muscles - either due to pain or due to half of them being severed.

Eventually I would relearn how to speak, through a long and painful process over months, though it still fails on a near daily basis.

Inquiring with a specialist four years later, even experimental options would not apply, as the severed vocal chords’ nerves were too distant to reconnect end to end. Perhaps one day that will be resolved; until then my voice is soft and sometimes no-op.

Walking, all gone.
Dexterity by hand, also gone.
Balance, certainly gone.

The first time I was able to pull my legs over the side of the bed, while holding onto a nurse, the nanosecond either foot struck the ground, lightning surged upward — through the femur, spiraling along the thoracic spine, climbing into cervical vertebrae, and erupting through the cerebellum and corpus callosum, detonating across the cerebral cortex. There was no thought, no other sensation; existence narrowed to one unbearable truth: PAIN.

Electrical Signaling

In medical research and case studies there is a distinct lack of detail from patient perspectives on the topic of this process: awakening the somatosensory network of the Central Nervous System after a flatlined coma, not a medically induced coma, and not a short term coma. The CNS is an electrical system foremost, followed by chemical messenger pathways, both interwoven in a complexity which science has yet to fully model or simulate.

Part of not being able to walk, or to hold things, to speak, was the sheer inability for my brain to process the electrical signals unmoderated, ungoverned; in short, the signals were shorting out the sensory and processing equipment. Without sufficient memory the simplest actions and abilities are devoid of action.

Healing Processes

Part of the physical healing process was one of intense and ongoing patience and more patience and endless patient patient patience and more of being both concurrently in what seemed to be an endless forever. I was not a patient child; this was my least tuned skill set, but it is now my most etched-in-stone capacity, though everyone surely has their limits.

Sense of smell was deemed the least critical, as determined by whatever engines were managing the recovery process. Light sensitivity never stopped being a problem, to which no doctor has had answers. All of these abilities, so often and so easily taken for granted by so many, they form the foundation - the core of a person’s interactions with their world, and with those senses we define existence, what it means to be alive, what it means to engage with others, and by eventual extrapolation what it means to find and have purpose and meaning and definition and identity.

Referential Integrity

The ability to confirm the integration of data into the whole - not only a unit as its unique entry - but with its reference to which all else maintains interrelated definitions; Referential Integrity is not solely a term from the database engineering world, it is a way to see how the brain shapes the Self, how it infers meaning minute by minute from the individual experience with relationships (comparative, contrasting) to the whole of the experience. Our brains are processing and defining and redefining all of our sensory inputs trillions of times per day, moving memory chunks around according to some grander-than-awareness algorithm which necessitates the conversion of short term events into long term storage for retrieval years or decades later. This fascinating biological computer is the most beautiful and capable equipment which our species has ever come across - and so gods help me if I ever take that for granted in any breath until my last. The void is not going anywhere, it’s there always and forever, that much is knowable in my experience. So then, what purpose is there? The question has no definitive or singular notion to provide an answer; purpose is evolving and changing at all times, until there is nothing left.

Finally then..

So, philosophy of death and meaning and all of that.. in any case, Prose is a site for reflections upon a woven existence, one which has routinely provided awakenings into substantially altered facets of bicameral perceptions. These descriptions may not resonate with many, though this is not a site for mass consumption or awareness, and so that is okay.

In part, this site is an archive for those memories of fleeting years gone by, of present experiences which sooner than realized will forever and perpetually become that passing of time. Memories are a complex game, a puzzle of neurons - firing and transporting their transmitters to waiting receptors, remnants of the Central Nervous System’s programming as it was trained, over time and years - consciously and otherwise.. but that’s a story for another page, at another time.

[*] Unless there is no Free Will, in which case Causal Determinism implies that our consciousness correlates sentience as the role of an observer more so than one of pre-defined actional executor.

Countdown to being back in the Progressive stronghold of anti-decency, antisemitic political action groups, achievement penalties, social disincentivization, horrific levels of taxed wage theft, hardened-recidivist criminals held wholly unaccountable, land of the not-so-free California - the state I always want to leave and never want to return to. Round… 8? 6? I don’t even want to think about the number of times I’ve left and never wanted to return, but then had to return. At every opportunity to leave, I have left, and here - now - one year later - entirely because healthcare is expensive and life requires money, I’m going right the fuck back. This round, I give it 12-16 months, maybe.

However, and not in jest, nearly the entirety of my accomplishments could have occurred in an old military quonset hut located off-grid, deep in the vast stretches of the Northern Nevada desert, preferably near the Ruby Mountains.

The Ruby Mountains, Nevada. Rocky cliffs and vibrant wildflowers under a clear blue sky.

snow covered peaks of The Ruby Mountains, Nevada

So, goodbye to another location. I suppose that I could say that Chicago was beneficial in the larger sense of existential purposes, and that much was accomplished, but unfortunately that was not the case.

In personable social terms, an immediate realization dawned upon landing, that so many people seem to love tall western women, to be quite vocal in appreciation and awareness, and what little Japanese I had memorized repeatedly informed to whom they were certainly referring. I’ve never felt tall until someone brings it up, but that all goes back to teenage years when plasma levels of recombinant-hGH were too low, then boosted too high. Short torso, long legs, and that’s just fine.

Those months that summer were memories of a pure, simple existence, the joy of living in a beautiful foreign land with a wonderfully kind culture; one where I could not read a single sign, nor understand more than several helpful conversational phrases. A stranger in a strange land. A summer of intense philosophical reassessment, of isolationist meditation, with the majority of months spent traveling alone through four countries across two hemispheres. Circa 2017 feels so far away.

circa 2017, during a global foray into personal unknowns, just as the tumor began to grow.

Perhaps more travel photos will follow. I’m in a reflective mood today. 🩷

#travel #photography #memories

zpool scrub cranking out 19.6G/s, with 2.74T scanned at approx 2min, with the pool predicting a total of 38min to complete

While building the spec and futzing with the BOM, one of my priorities was to ensure zero PCIe lane contention, with I/O going direct to 64 cores at 3.5GHz peaks, and eight memory channels in use (4x ECC-REG + 4x NVDIMM). All of those conditions have been benchmarking well so far; yay for meeting personally set expectations. 🤗

I’d say this is mostly pretty decent for a draid1 array with NVMe on a single-socket Xeon ICX box, and so far much better than the dual socket Ice Lake boxes that I was benching at ${OldOrg}. The recurring two-socket issue on this Xeon generation, and on its successor Sapphire Rapids, is that there’s too much cross-socket comms unless specific choices are made with PCIe peripherals and specific choices with BIOS tuning and kernel settings and core-pinning; all of which can be time consuming at a minimum, and head scratching with “Just call Premier Support!” at the far end, unless you know better.

This should not come as a surprise to anyone who has been benchmarking multi-socket Xeons ever since Xeons were brought into existence. Having had that experience, and because “data + facts + personal experience == real answers”, it was simple to predict performance concerns related to cross-socket latency, and don’t forget PCIe slot to socket sequencing and NUMA domain crossing, especially when optimizing for high-throughput network based storage transfers. If you scaled a 1 socket to 2 to 4 on the old Nehalem-EX based Xeons, then you know what I mean - they could never match the classic Big Iron vendors’ quad-socket designs like Sun’s SPARC T3 and M3 series, and certainly not competitive to IBM’s POWER7 options.

Anyway, there’s a little game to play in storage server land called, “high density rack-scale storage is more efficient with single socket boards, using a high-lane count, high-clock, big cache SKUs”. This isn’t the time for a lesson in predictive algorithms necessary for resource optimization, ones which should be used when determining cost/benefit analysis of horizontal vs vertical (or combined) storage system scaling at the rack-level; but it is time for me to get off of the computer and eat some cherries and watch one of the alternate endings for Cyberpunk 2077 Phantom Liberty!

And really, for a Sunday evening, remaining at this standing desk in the office-lab is not appealing, particularly due to the “it’s just too damn hot for pants!” environment, even with the A/C on full blast (common metric for this lab, though it’s fine weather for a skirt).

PS, the pool scub finished with zero errors. I am pleased. Migration complete.

#linux #zfs #xeon #intel #ibm #sunmicrosystems #storage #hardware #engineering #memories

For the background, I loved endurance racing, and the many long, standing (not seated) hill climbs and mountain passes always were my favorite. Climbing the front-side and then heading down the back-sides of big mountain passes in the Sierra Nevada at 50+mph (80kph) was however not my favorite - but a good lesson in reaping what you sow. Thankfully I never crashed on those, despite having climbed all of the majors and several lesser traveled, many times over: Monitor, Ebbetts, Carson, Echo, Rose, Yuba, Donner, Tioga, Brockway, Daggett, Luther, Pacific Grade Summit, and famously adjacent Geiger Grade going to Virginia City (a common morning ride before work). All of my crashes were on mountain and cyclo-cross, so I was certainly not immune.

The closest I came to a high speed get-off was on Carson Pass (highway 88), back in 2001. I was riding a new set of criterium race wheels that were ultra-lightweight, perfect for climbing up the pass to the summit, but during the descent speed-wobbles had set-in around the 45mph point and continued through to 54mph, starting directly after the first major right-hand curve.

While arc’ing the bike inside the turn, standard approach to manage centrifugal force, and then leaning it back upright as the road straightened, harmonic distortion set in, rippling faster and faster through the bike’s frame, up into my body, blurring my vision. Sometimes going faster will sort out the wave, but not this time, and by 50mph the flexing nearly tore the wheels apart from a combination of light-weight hubs and spokes/rims not having sufficient torsional strength to sustain the pressure involved with the induced coefficient-of-friction and centrifugal force.

This was the kind of turn with speed, which one can see racers engage with on the Tour, which require a rear-side body-torque movement to snap/push the frame out of its desire to continue through the curve and resume going straight - too much downward force started to turn the wheel into an slight oval. This same body movement is used in MotoGP and motocross racing, as it’s an essential skill for powering through a curve while pushing physical limits. The feeling was like that of an al-dente noodle, if one were to imagine being thrown down a hill while trying to keep everything straight and rigid - just stiff enough to not immediately die, but very close to dying really quickly. Wearing a helmet in that case wouldn’t have saved my life, as the pass is surrounded by granite walls and boulders and steep drops.

It took an entire mile of deceleration, achieved through pulsing the front and rear brakes at a 30/70% ratio (like anti-lock brakes on a car, but without the computer), to safely slow down enough for the distortion to resolve. If you don’t pulse the brakes then the pads can overheat and melt, contributing far worse conditions into the mix. By the ~30mph point I had recovered enough control over the bike to gently guide us to a turnout several miles down the pass and then dismount. A lot of adrenaline that day, the intensity of focus and attention to the senses required was certainly a high-point at my youngish age (early 20s).

My friend, a far better racer than I’d ever become, could only laugh at the scene. It wasn’t either of our first experiences with harmonic distortion, and what else is there to do but laugh and get back on the bike? Away we went, continuing down the steep but fast and straight-smooth road to Woodfords where we parked the car.

Well anyway, I had those wheels relaced with bladed titanium spokes and hardened steel nipples tensioned with a digital torque meter (not “feeling the torque by hand”), and never used them for hill climbs ever again.

As for The Death Ride, they no longer include Highway 88’s Carson Pass on the route, mostly due to safety.

References

• Beautiful photos and a grade map: www.tourofcalifornia.org/2006/07/d…
• Stats on the pass: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cars…
• The perfect yearly event: deathride.com
• Mentions about Carson no longer being used: deathride.com

Moving forward from the bed… remove the eye mask, its sensory deprivation so welcome in slumbers…

sleepy business

Now to find favored long fluffy cable-knit red socks first - a pleasant awareness of vascular pump-circulation thudding sensations reduced. Then in preparation for that med-tec loveliness which is my cervical traction collar, on goes a rose-hue cashmere half sweater buttoned atop sleepy silken camisole. “mmmm anschmiegsame Geschmeidigkeit ‡”.

Then stretches, stumbling, gathering of presence and place and time now unifying into a commonality of time - it’s The Morning. I hear birds chirping with the crisp breeze of a soon-to-be sunrise of mid-Summer. Coffee, oh but for its receptor activations on acetecholine, dopamine agonist, and norepinephrine boost … taste as a secondary, primarily it is medication. Those interactions with the metabolic system stimulate internal processes throughout the CNS - ANS - PNS and that lovely meta-grid of Dopaminergic Pathways deep within the Corpus Callosum. Pain aside, it is nothing new, this calm state of early morning is one to transcribe into the site, here right now; one to remember not for its perfectness or idealistic qualities but for its simple state of awareness in the present.

I close my eyes, focus on breathing, slowly make contact with each cervical and spinal nerve as the minds-eye transits out of the cerebellum to the travel lower lower, out to each extremity and back, making contact with each sector and member of the body… acknowledging its presence, “hello legs, hello toes, waist and pelvis, aching joints, all those ligaments”.. and move on to the endocrine nodes, “good morning thyroid, anterior pituitary, remnant-repro structures long removed, adrenal lobes” Acknowledging each’s present state - calculating how each contributes before checking the sequence of hours and days - for which medication is needed today? The knobs and levers now mine to control: plans for weekly plasma curves, Cmax / Tmax / AUC, and the rest of the pharmacokinetics and pharmacodynamics - each complexity of dose + duration + modulations with CYP450 attribute to their interplay.

Holding the post-coma reigns, adjusting nearly the entire neuro/endocrine array of medications of injections and pills and time-release capsules, all of those elements which allow now for consistency of experience, to maintain my Self. It’s challenging, with six hormones and three neurotransmitters, and anywhere from six to eight tertiary and ancillary Rx to modulate those primaries.

Externalizing the management structure is time consuming, complex in interactions, extremely challenging to adjust for concurrency of stability with consistency of mind and body. The ANS is so much better at all of those things, and yet this structure and several others never fully woke up with the rest of me on that bed in the ICU so long ago. Drifting thoughts, a tissue or two, not for crying but few streams of silent tears which fall - all on their own, frontal-emotion not attached yet those tears appear just as quickly as they depart. Perhaps another autonomic function triggering its role in an unknown-to-me manner for some evolutionary purpose long ago.

The doctors were rarely helpful [1], even “Cross-Functional Integrated Care Teams” of specialists, nor ombudsmen, occasionally a wonderful Nurse Practitioner brings the light back into my eyes (thank you Sue).

• [1] Except for Dr. Amber, who patiently and with honest care truly listened
• [‡] “anschmiegsame Geschmeidigkeit”, loosely translates to “cozy softness”